Gifts

Leo was one of the most fun people to shop for.  He had so many interest and would love anything you got him.  One year - I got him this set of "salts from around the world" - and it started a salt obsession for him.  A "unique" salt obsession.  Often - I'd buy combination gifts for him and mom.  Games, books, wine... Uncommon Goods has such fun gifts...they have a board game "awkward family photos" - good lord - would the four of us have fun with that game.

Leo was so good at creating "family time."  We would eat together, talk, play games, listen to music, trips, etc.  Most importantly - we ate together.  When (if) I have a family - regardless of when everyone gets home - we will always sit down together. 

Christmas sucks this year.  Yes, my mom still has interest in those things - but she isn't doing them.  She isn't going to play a card game by herself.  She isn't going to get excited about salts.  Her R coffee cup from Anthropologie seems so alone without the accompanying L cup...

My normal is gone and has been replaced with abnormal and chaos.

Neither of my holidays this year are "normal."  Thanksgiving - I was in MI.  Christmas - I'll be in my car returning from a cruise.  Weird and sad.  I'll come home to an empty house.  My dogs will be at daycare - I'll be alone.  

Speaking of the cruise - this will be the first time my mom and I can't communicate freely.  I'm going to hate it...I'll probably get a calling card (need to look into this) and call when I'm at the different ports.  I can't go a week without crying - this is going to be really hard being in a room with a cousin who hates her stepmom.  We aren't close...I might have to go hide somewhere for my daily tears.  Trying to not dread this...

I really miss Leo - with this indescribable pain.

Tracy asked me about getting this gift for her stepmom - who suddenly lost her best friend this year too (the gift would be a symbol of her friend).  I was sitting at my desk crying because it was so thoughtful and kind.  It's so rare to have a friend like her - I'm too lucky.  If you read this Tracy - thank you :).

Speaking of gifts...even though it utterly breaks my heart every time I watch this...I love that I will forever have this.  Thank you Andy Rogers.

Here is the the video


Enjoy the gifts of your loved ones...

-Kathryn-