Saturday's Routine

For as long as I can remember...my Saturday's routine always included my mom.

This morning it's gross and rainy in Nashville.  While I was opening my curtains this morning - I said to myself, "I wonder if mom is awake yet?"  I have these moments where I forget she is dead.  I have these natural urges as if she is still alive.  Then I have to remind myself she is not...and the wave of grief consumes me all over again.   This fucking wave violently tosses me around, drowns and suffocates me.

I saw an interesting article on NPR music the other day.  They were having people create their lives soundtrack in 6 songs.  A song that I listen to frequently the past few years has been Sharon Van Etten's - "We Are Fine."  I love, love, LOVE Sharon Van Etten...and this is actually one of her most upbeat/positive songs.

If I had to come up with my 6 songs - this would probably be #1 on the list.  I almost always have it on when the wave comes...which means I listen to it ALL THE TIME.

I miss our Saturday mornings mom....

-TT