I don't know if I can accurately describe the tribute to Leo yesterday. Beautiful, gut-wrenching, heart breaking and perfect are the words that are currently coming to me.
The orchestra did a fabulous job. The 12 minute slide show of Leo was amazing.
I - however - was barely able to keep the tears from constantly falling. It was just another reminder that he isn't here. I still can't believe this reality.
While I didn't attend many of the shows over the past 8 years - I did recognize many of the songs that were played. Either by talking to mom and Leo post show - or hearing them while visiting, etc. Why didn't I attend more shows? Why didn't I make visiting a higher priority? How helpful seeing into the future would have been...
It's good being in Bay City. I'm thankful that work is yet again allowing me to work remotely this week. Mom and I have talked about going to see Leo's dad on Turkey Day - which also might mean a visit to see Leo. I don't know if I am ready yet... I think visiting his grave and the concert might be too much for one week. We will see.
It's refreshing to be around such fabulous people. It's a reminder of what I'm lacking in my life. Mom and Leo's friends have become so dear to my heart. It gives me a brief moment of happiness and joy to interact with them...even if it's under the current circumstances.
There has been a lot of memories being shared today. I know it's a sign of healing - to be able to talk and not fall apart. Even if the strength is present at random times...it's encouraging.
Happy Turkey Day!
-Kathryn-
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