Saturday, July 14, 2012

life is easy...

...when I don't think about him or listen to his music...for example.

I'm scared to allow myself to feel.  so scared actually.  The seldom time I allow myself to feel - the overwhelming and quick emotions that come out remind me why the fear is there. 

When will I not miss him so much?  When will I be able to listen to ED and not burst out in tears?  When can I shop for olive oil - and not feel the ache in my heart - because I simply  want to tell him what kind I purchased.  Shopping at TJ Max for oils/spices was one of the many favorite subjects of conversation.  I now hate going down that section of TJ's.  However,  I got my mom (and myself :) ) this cool pasta measuring tool.  He would have loved it. 

I've enjoyed life with less tears - but it's because I'm pushing this aside.  I fear what side-effects this might have. 

Funny, I just noticed today's 'google doodle' - Leo gave Klimt's "the kiss" to my mom - as a magnet I believe.  Funny how the tiniest reminders are all around :).




love and miss you always, Leo
K


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