Pesto Pasta

Let me paint the picture - it's Saturday evening - Olympics on the TV and I'm listening to the new Dirty Guv'nahs cd I received in the mail yesterday (a little plug for the guvs...it's fantastic!) my dogs still calm from our long walk this morning - and I'm prepping for dinner.

I have stopped eating land-animals as of late April.  Since then, I have been enjoying the challenge of food preparation since I've been going down this path.  I feel a lot better and am eating a ton more veggies/fruits.

Last weekend while I was at the grocery store, I decided to get the materials to make pesto pasta. 

Of course, I learned this dish from Leo.  It was his "go-to" meal if we needed something quick.  Let me express - it was absolutely amazing.  There were times that I requested it - even if he had all time in the world to cook a meal.  This was even the one dish I talked about in my "letter to him" at his memorial service.  He always used the most fabulous pesto.  I remember he gave me a jar of it my sophmore year of college - and I was so stingy with it...my roommates said I would "ration" it out...but I couldn't find the stuff in Knoxville!  Leo got it from a store in Ann Arbor...I have no idea what the store is called.  A large jar was about $30 and a smaller jar was about $7...so as a college student...yes...I kept it to myself most of the time :). 

Anyway, pesto and pasta has become one of my go-to meals.  Leo always added sausage, but since my "no land-animal" diet - tonight I added soy sausage.  It was pretty good!  As I was putting the final touches on my dinner - the pepper grinder of course - out of no where tears are streaming down my face. 

I eat dinner with tears falling into the food, I am flooded with memories and feel sick that we will never have new ones, I realize I haven't talked about him in weeks/months...no one asks about it anymore.  Which is okay...life goes on for people...but this is something that feels like I'll never get past. 

I simply miss him so much.  I really hate it.  I would trade everything to have a few more days with him.  Man...it just sucks. 

However, after I sprinkled the pepper on my food- i held the pepper grinder so close and felt comfort - even in the midst of the tears.  Weird, I know - but it's one of the only tangible things I have of him...

Thanks for all the recipes Leo!
xox,
Kathryn






**I should note that I used the Kroger' private selection pesto tonight.  Right after the funeral, I was looking for something in my mom's purse.  I found a grocery list that Leo had written out for mom...he had to be very specific with what he wanted when he sent others to the store.  For some reason - the only thing I remember from that list is "pesto - private selection."  If it was good enough for Leo - it's perfect for me.