8 months.

My god.  how in the hell has it been 8 months?  It feels like yesterday I go the phone call...that phone call.  It had been weeks - even months since I had recalled that awful memory, but sadly I had a trigger a few days ago.  Someone I called had just received bad news from his family and had to call me back.  Immediately, I assumed the worst...and started playing my phone call over and over in my head.  I had to stop what I was doing and start cleaning.  Cleaning seems to be the only way to stop my mind...but I can't clean all day...and I've been thinking about my bad news phone call a lot the past few days. 

I am still struggling...I'm still heartbroken...I'm still crying.  I am still having a hard time grasping the fact that Leo was here on May 16 - then gone on the 17th.  Just gone.  No warning - no final goodbye - just gone.

I don't know how to say goodbye to him...I don't want to say goodbye.

I'm not ready...so I'll end it with the song we ended all of his memorial events with...

I miss you Leo.